May you experience a happy surprise today! Next week, I’ll be engaging in the spiritual practice of rest and will not publish a new blog post. However, I’ll be back in two weeks. Have a wonderful two weeks! This post is about the spiritual practice of compassion.
We have a saying in the disability community: disability doesn’t just happen to the individual, it happens to the whole family. As a little one, I was vaguely aware of what this meant in terms of my extended family, and by “vaguely aware” I mean that I had no idea of what this meant in terms of my extended family. Whenever my immediate family and I went to visit my mom’s or dad’s family, it was just another family trip as far as I was concerned.
When my parents, sister and I would arrive at my maternal grandparents’ house, hugs, kisses and the requisite “You’ve grown so much!” would permeate the house. As my grandparents’ house filled up with my aunts, uncles and cousins, the house would pulsate with love and activity from all of the laughing, talking and cooking going on.
Once the kids became a bit too active to stay inside, one of the adults would inevitably say, “All the kids go outside and play!” Then, for the next 3 minutes(at the time, I had about 10 cousins on my mom’s side of the family), you’d hear little feet running through my grandparents’ house, into the living room and out the front door.
Once we were all outside, we’d decide what games to play. All of our outdoor games revolved around races to see who was the best at jumping, climbing, running and being the fastest. Since I had cerebral palsy and my cousins and sister didn’t have disabilities, games that involved me running or climbing or doing anything else that required muscle coordination did not lend themselves to me winning. In fact, I always finished last… by a landslide.
While I loved playing with my sister and cousins, I’d eventually get tired and become frustrated that I couldn’t figure out how to make my muscles go faster. So, I’d play these games as long as possible. When I needed a rest, I’d either sit on the glider on my grandparents’ porch or go inside and sit on my favorite place in my grandparents’ house: my grandpa’s lap.
Now, I never noticed it at the time, but I could sit on my grandfather’s lap whenever I wanted. With 10 cousins and a sister, there was always a line of kids wanting their turn on grandpa’s lap. However, if I was on his lap, everyone had to wait until I was ready to get off for their turn on his lap. If someone else was on his lap when I wanted to get on, they had to hop off. I loved my time on my grandfather’s lap! We would watch cartoons together; I’d ask him questions, tell him secrets and play with his hands.
One day during my teenage years, I realized that I had first dibs on my grandfather’s lap as a little girl. When I realized that I never had to wait my turn to sit on grandpa’s lap and I could sit there as long as I wanted, I asked my grandmother why this was so(my grandfather had passed by this time). She said that my grandfather knew how frustrated I felt when I couldn’t win at the physical games and he wanted me to have something that I could “win” at. So, he decided that I would always have first dibs on his lap. As I settled down to sleep that night, I thanked my grandpa for finding a way for me to come in “first.”
Learning that my grandfather made a decision to reduce a painful part of cerebral palsy was awesome. My grandfather had twelve grandchildren, six children, a wife and several other people in his life to think about. Yet, he chose to figure out how to help one of the youngest people in his life feel loved, special and cherished.
By allowing me to have first dibs to his lap, my grandfather engaged in the spiritual practice of showing compassion, which is taking action to alleviate another person’s pain. His action not only alleviated the pain I felt, it also brought me tremendous joy and helped my grandfather embody his own divinity. Compassion is one of the qualities of the Divine. So, when we show compassion, we are revealing the face of The Most High through our deeds. Sitting on my grandpa’s lap filled my world with love, joy and the energy of God! Thank you, Grandpa!
Love, blessings and purple,
Allison
Try incorporating this exercise into your week. If you need modifications to the practice, scroll down to the section titled Access Notes.
Rest and Relaxation
Relax for 5 minutes each day this week (or as often as you can). That is, do nothing related to being “productive” or related to your to-do list. You can choose how you do this. A few examples are: staying in the shower or bathtub an extra 5 minutes and daydreaming, looking out the window, or sitting somewhere and breathing.
The following modifications are intended to create equal access to the spiritual practice above. These modifications are somewhat general to be as useful as possible to as many people as possible. Please feel free to further tweak the exercise as needed so that you can participate as fully as possible while honoring your body’s needs.
For those who have ADHD or those who’s minds become more active when you sit quietly, try the following mindfulness exercises to quiet your mind.
1. Color in an adult coloring book
2. Go for a walk and pay attention to the sensations of your body during your walk.
3. Focus your attention on each movement you make while washing dishes, folding laundry, or doing any other solitary activity.
